As a Virgo, the art of giving myself grace can be a very, very difficult thing to do.
Growing up, I remember opting out of all activities I thought I was “bad” at. Essentially, I tried to eliminate all opportunities for me to mess up in front of others and fall short of perfection. Somewhere along the way, I began equating my mistakes with my self-worth.
As an adult, I have a tendency to get frustrated and belittle myself over my mistakes, rather than seeing them as what makes me human. Although, over the years I have learned a thing or two about laughing at myself.
With the Holiday season in full effect, its a time for giving. This year I challenge you to also give yourself a gift.
Give yourself some grace.
While trying to give myself grace, one of things I’ve been thinking about is why I am so quick to judge myself rather than give grace. Where does that tendency come from? Why don’t I feel the freedom to make mistakes?
It can be easy to buy into the lie that we can’t make mistakes, because we have to be put together and everything has to be under control all the time. We have been told over and over by society and social media that in order to be “enough” we have to do and be everything. In order to matter, we have to be perfect.
“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together”. -Brene Brown
Our imperfections and mistakes allow us opportunities to be humble, to have empathy, to give grace and, ultimately that allow us to connect with one another. I am learning not to love myself in spite of my mistakes, but because of them. Instead of beating myself up over little things, I am choosing to realize that my mistakes are what make me, me.
The next time you find you are filled with regret or that you are being much too hard on yourself, I encourage you to choose grace. I encourage you to choose to believe that these things do not define you. Take a deep breath, think about what you can learn from your mistake and then take that lesson with you, letting the guilt and shame go. Only carry with you that which is truly life giving. The goal is self-awareness, not self-scrutiny or judgment. You don’t have to be perfect and it’s okay to misstep. It’s going to happen.
Some days you may feel like a rock star, others, not so much. Embrace it all–the good, bad, and the yucky. And keep your sense of humor close by.
What would it look like to allow yourself to be perfectly human?
What would change in your life if you let go of an all-or-nothing mentality and you stopped shaming yourself for the occasional slip up, while you still attempted to move forward in life and in character?
We are all human and we are all in this together. So learn to laugh at yourself. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your successes and wins. Wear your experiences proudly.
With a Grateful Heart,